Home

Previous 20

Apr. 18th, 2008

swat kats, autobot, optimus prime, transformer, cartoon, angry, rob, bitter, animation, condensed comics

Good Idea, Bad Logo

Let’s compare some product logos, shall we?

Now Then

Sigh. Those who forget history are doomed to repeat it.

Tags:

Apr. 9th, 2008

swat kats, autobot, optimus prime, transformer, cartoon, angry, rob, bitter, animation, condensed comics

On rereading notes from today’s meeting

Sometimes meetings are so boring, you forget what they were about. For instance, I have no recollection of ever writing the following, yet it appears in my notebook:

Crap! He just said ‘Man-Month.’ Eject! Eject! Eject!

Tags:

Mar. 27th, 2008

swat kats, autobot, optimus prime, transformer, cartoon, angry, rob, bitter, animation, condensed comics

Observations on Jerry Yang’s presentation style

Jerry Needs Cue Cards

I realize that Jerry is trying to make things “informal,” that he’s reïnforcing his “personal brand,” and that this is a quick one-off message to the troops (rah rah); but seriously, someone get the boy a copy of Presentation Zen stat. To wit:

  • Constantly looking down to your desk to check your notes is a no–no. If you must use notes, have them written on cue cards and held next to the camera. Glancing down constantly sends two unappealing messages:
    • I am ashamed; and
    • I am lying.
    You don’t want to send either. A steely-eyed focus on the viewer sends a much more positive message.
  • Kill the “ems” and “ahs.” We know you are a big fan of Steve Jobs, so take a lesson from his presentation style: rehearse, rehearse, then rehearse some more. The more familiar you are with the material you are presenting, the more confident you will be during the actual presentation.
  • Hire an editor. These video updates are supposed to be informal, but re-filming segments that appear ill-paced would go a lot towards improving the confidence the troops have in your plan and your ability to execute it.

In short, my advice is: do it right or don’t bother doing it at all.

Tags:

Mar. 18th, 2008

swat kats, autobot, optimus prime, transformer, cartoon, angry, rob, bitter, animation, condensed comics

QotW: Mark Pilgrim

Hi, I’m Web Developer Barbie. Pull my string and I say, “Standards are tough! Let’s go shopping!”

— “Translation From MS-Speak to English of Selected Portions of Joel Spolsky’s ‘Martian Headsets’

Mar. 5th, 2008

swat kats, autobot, optimus prime, transformer, cartoon, angry, rob, bitter, animation, condensed comics

Flash and the iPhone: Highly Improbable and Equally Illogical

Silicon Alley Insider is beating the old “Flash on the iPhone” drum again, and I’ve had a couple of private communications about the same. The claim is that Apple is missing out by not supporting (or even allowing) Flash.

Apple users may be missing out on a large chunk of the web, but is it an important chunk? Hardly.

Dan Frommer says, “Web sites aren’t being built with just HTML, CSS, Javascript, and H.264.”

Where has he been, stuck in the ’90s? Outside of YouTube (which is migrating to H.264), there’s nary a drop of Flash on Google or any of the major Web 2.0 properties out there. AJAX rules the roost. Actually, I can’t speak for Facebook; I don’t use it. Yahoo! has a smattering of Flash, but the Y!UI libraries show how a compelling DHTML (HTML, Javascript, and CSS) experience can be made. DHTML is more than adequate for the task; if your designer can’t get the job done without falling back on Flash, get a new designer.

Try surfing with the Flash plug-in disabled; you’ll find the experience much smoother than you would be led to believe by the Adobe marketing department. Flash was created to get around inconsistencies in browsers: fallout from the browser wars of the ’90s. Since Microsoft has recently back-tracked on their attempt to freeze standards at the (broken) IE7 level, expect far more progress in the consistency area.

Flash is good for only two things: games and ads (maybe video, but H.264 is much more efficient and video sharing sites need to squeeze out every drop of bandwidth). Apple is interested in neither for the iPhone, or even the desktop. As far as corporate navigation goes, any company that uses Flash for navigation beyond a worthless splash screen is more than likely only supporting Internet Explorer, so there’s no loss for Apple there.

Flash/AIR and Silverlight are both battling for control of the Rich Experience Web, and as the number of non-Flash, non-Silverlight web sites have shown, the Rich Experience Web does not need either one. Jobs is unlikely to cede control of his user experience to Adobe (which can barely get Flash to run on a full-fledged Macintosh) or to Microsoft (for obvious reasons).

In many ways, Apple is doing a stealth grab for the Rich Experience Web with WebKit: by providing a portable reference platform for HTML+AJAX+CSS+SVG, it can influence W3C standards in ways that benefit its needs. Even Adobe is controlled by Apple in that regard: Adobe uses WebKit as the rendering agent for AIR.

Do you really think a megalomaniac like Steve Jobs is going to leave the implementation of the user experience to another company, especially Microsoft? Do you?

Yeah, neither did I.


Hm, “HTML+AJAX+CSS+SVG.” “HACS.” I like that acronym. Web 2.1, anybody?

Mar. 3rd, 2008

swat kats, autobot, optimus prime, transformer, cartoon, angry, rob, bitter, animation, condensed comics

The Monsters Are Due on Maple Street

A funny thing happened at work today. Funny as in “troubling.”

I work at Yahoo! (exclamation point mandatory, sorry), and unless you’ve been under a rock for the last two months, you are aware that Yahoo! is fending off the unwilling advances of Microsoft.

Well, this appeared on the internal boards this week:

There are photos of someone on the walls of Bld A 1st and 2nd floors
(break-room, stairs etc). Why and who is this?

The response was:

I heard he is a new employee that has been planted into Y! by Microsoft.
Watch out what you say around him.

This exchange immediately brought to mind the final exchange from that story by Rod Serling:

“Understand the procedure now? Just stop a few of their machines, their telephones, their lawnmowers, throw them into darkness for a few hours, and then sit back and watch the pattern.”

“This pattern is always the same?”

“With few variations. They pick the most dangerous enemy they can find.... and it’s themselves. All we need do is sit back and watch.”

Indeed. In the immortal words of Walt Kelly, “We have met the enemy, and it is us.”

Feb. 15th, 2008

swat kats, autobot, optimus prime, transformer, cartoon, angry, rob, bitter, animation, condensed comics

School Violence — an interesting take

From ABC News:

The Worst Incident of School Violence

Columbine? Virginia Tech? It was actually a 1958 fire that burned down Our Lady of Angels, a Catholic school in Chicago, and killed 92 students. One or possibly two fourth graders set the fire. The nuns told the students to pray rather than escape.

Tags: ,

Feb. 14th, 2008

swat kats, autobot, optimus prime, transformer, cartoon, angry, rob, bitter, animation, condensed comics

Sanity thru Perl Geeking

In summary:

#!/usr/bin/perl -l
@m = qw(mi cro soft);
@y = qw(ya hoo);

while (@m && @y) {
  $s = shift @{rand > .5 ? \@m : \@y};
  push @r, $s if !@r || rand > .5
}

$" = "";
print "\u@r!"';

Feb. 12th, 2008

swat kats, autobot, optimus prime, transformer, cartoon, angry, rob, bitter, animation, condensed comics

Status Update!

Was not fired.

Which is amazing, considering that:

  1. Through no fault of my own, I have done absolutely nothing for the last three months as projects have been cancelled, delayed, or reassigned; and
  2. I have begun a not-so-covert “whispering campaign” against any and all people I report to, directly or indirectly.

I blame this on the popularity of House. People have lately decided to equate ‘asshole’ with ‘genius.’ I for one would normally welcome this attitude, but not when I’m desperate to move on.

Tags:

Feb. 1st, 2008

swat kats, autobot, optimus prime, transformer, cartoon, angry, rob, bitter, animation, condensed comics

Status

Not fired yet (but considering leaving on my own).

Jan. 25th, 2008

swat kats, autobot, optimus prime, transformer, cartoon, angry, rob, bitter, animation, condensed comics

Status

Not fired yet.

Jan. 23rd, 2008

swat kats, autobot, optimus prime, transformer, cartoon, angry, rob, bitter, animation, condensed comics

Status

Not fired yet.

swat kats, autobot, optimus prime, transformer, cartoon, angry, rob, bitter, animation, condensed comics

The Stress of Running a Multinational Corporation

Just got an e-mail from the CEO: not for me personally, it was a broadcast bulletin. Nothing special, just a bunch of bland corporate-speak.

What annoyed me was the lack of capital letters. It was all lower-case, like a whiny posting to some prepubescent emochild's all-black LiveJournal page.

Is the stress of running a multinational corporation so taxing that you cannot hit the shift key?

Followup: Apparently, others are bothered by this as well.

Tags:

Jan. 22nd, 2008

swat kats, autobot, optimus prime, transformer, cartoon, angry, rob, bitter, animation, condensed comics

The Olsen Conspiracy

Earlier today:

Police are now saying they suspect suicide in Heath Ledger's death today at a Manhattan apartment owned, says the Times, by actress Mary-Kate Olsen...

Now, the official line is:

Paul J. Browne, the Police Department’s deputy commissioner for public information, initially said that the apartment was owned by the actress Mary-Kate Olsen, but later reversed himself and said that was not the case.

A representative of Ms. Olsen said that the apartment did not belong to the actress. “It is not her apartment,” the representative, Annette Wolf, a publicist for Ms. Olsen, said in a phone interview. “She does not own the apartment. She has never owned the apartment. She and her sister have an apartment in New York City but they are not in this building.”

You don’t have to be hit on the head with a golden apple to see a conspiracy. Somehow, someway, the Olsen twins are involved in this. Maybe they knocked him off because they don’t like gay cowboys; maybe they were jealous that he was offered the role of the Joker while the role of the DeeDee went to Melissa Joan Hart.

In any case, it just reeks of their Full House-inspired evil.

swat kats, autobot, optimus prime, transformer, cartoon, angry, rob, bitter, animation, condensed comics

uncov, RIP

Ted killed it. He attended the Crunchies, and like Tom Lehrer after seeing Henry Kissinger get the Nobel Peace Prize, felt no satire could top real life.

swat kats, autobot, optimus prime, transformer, cartoon, angry, rob, bitter, animation, condensed comics

Status

Not fired yet.

(Watch this space for bulletins)

Jan. 15th, 2008

swat kats, autobot, optimus prime, transformer, cartoon, angry, rob, bitter, animation, condensed comics

#spinnwebe Goes to MacWorld ’08

#spinnwebe Goes to MacWorld ’08

Robot roll call:

Kyol
hah
wabewalkr
Hi
wabewalkr
Was thinking noone would show.
Kyol
why YES it's a STEVENOTE
bob
hey wabe, good to see ya
wabewalkr
You people had me worried.
bob
actually it's really rude of steve to have the keynote today. the magazine's getting boned by deadlines and i've got a meeting at 1 central.
bob
probably a short status meeting kinda deal but puhLEEZ it's my christmas

On the physiological effects of the keynote:

wabewalkr
Boners for all.
*** bob has changed the topic on channel #spinnwebe to <wabewalkr> Boners for all.

On Time Capsule:

Kyol
Saweet. Time capsule
wabewalkr
Wait -- wireless backups?
Kyol
FINALLY
wabewalkr
Wasn't that supposed to be part of Time Machine? Wireless backups to Airport Express + USB HD?
bob
oh good! a terabyte of data at 802.11g speeds!

On iPhone speculation:

bob
wonder how many of those iphones went straight to ebay
bob
and are still there
wabewalkr
Heh. $1200 for a $300 phone. It's a deal!

On Web2.0’s insidious infiltration of keynote coverage:

bob
looks like the ilounge 30-second autorefresh starts over every time i leave and then return to the page
wabewalkr
They're triggering a refresh on blur. How Web2.0-ish.
bob
what's blur, besides how fast my right hand is moving at the moment?
wabewalkr
window loses focus
wabewalkr
sorry, had to do some web 2.0 crap and it's rotting in the back of my brain.
bob
heheh, right this very minute i'm editing our march cover article, about how realtors can leverage web 2.0
wabewalkr
"Leave it out, and your users will love you."
bob
yeah, one of the sentences in the intro:
bob
"The tech world has dubbed tools like blogs and social network sites like Facebook as Web 2.0, enabling Web users to connect with one another rather than view content passively."
bob
so we can expect technical accuracy of oh, say, just about 0
wabewalkr
I stopped reading when I hit "Facebook," sorry.
bob
no, you did the right thing

On the cost of upgrading:

wabewalkr
Free update to phone.
wabewalkr
And coincidentally, free bricking to those foolish enough to unlock.
bob
wow, $20 for that upgrade
wabewalkr
Whu?
wabewalkr
Maps?
wabewalkr
Maps on a device that really shouldn't leave your house except to go to Starbucks?
wabewalkr
Unless Apple's launching a WiFi satellete...
wabewalkr
<sarcasm>Yeah, that's so worth $20</sarcasm>

On iTMS movie rentals:

wabewalkr
Rentals!
Kyol
yeah sure whatevers
bob
no fapping there for me either
wabewalkr
Don't want movie rentals?
bob
i don't even have a video store account, let alone netflix
wabewalkr
Well, not if they're 24-hour limited.
wabewalkr
What are the damn terms? If I have to give up my left nut to see "Spiderman 3" I might not be interested.
Kyol
I already have movie rentals, except they're free and permanent and DRM free, it's called UUCP.
wabewalkr
UUCP?
wabewalkr
Over FidoNet?
Kyol
er NNTP

On techno-Ludditism:

wabewalkr
And I thought bob was the Luddite.
Kyol
I'm still working at a dialup ISP, I think I carry the techno-Luddite crown.

On the immortal question:

wabewalkr
iPod Touch or iPhone?
bob
touch, i have a sidekick for a smartphone
bob
the touch will be my tablet for catching up on porn

On terms of service and thinking about baseball:

wabewalkr
Fuck you, Steve. 48 hours, yes; 24, no.
wabewalkr
I like to watch my movies over multiple days.
Kyol
More than 15 minutes at a shot and I'm spent
wabewalkr
Try ginseng for that, Kyol.

On bandwidth:

bob
i hope all this rental movie traffic doesn't slow down my torrents

On bandwidth, redux:

Kyol
apple tv mk deuce
bob
done a little closer to right, anyway
wabewalkr
Death of the mini, more like.
bob
there ya go, kyol, HD rentals add a buck
wabewalkr
Heh, HD rentals over dialup.

On social networks and closet cases:

bob
OMG spyware!
bob
"Can preview movies from the interface, and see what other users who have rented that movie have rented"
wabewalkr
Damnit, Steve, don't get on the Web2.0 bandwagon!
Kyol
"get on"?
wabewalkr
If you offer a Facebook plugin, I'm coming over to Moscone with a bat.
Kyol
have you SEEN itunes?
wabewalkr
Sigh, yes.
wabewalkr
I've also used Amazon's recommendation service.
wabewalkr
National Coming Out day has passed, otherwise I would be ready to admit I'm in the social networking closet.

On wealth through negligence, or making money the AOL way:

bob
they oughtta let me rent songs for a quarter
wabewalkr
For 24 hours?
bob
yeah, why not
bob
they've got the infrastructure, it's a coupla hours of coding for an intern
bob
call it "apple party" or something, if you don't own some music and want to play it, put it in a playlist, we'll charge you a quarter each
wabewalkr
Ah, smart.
wabewalkr
People will forget it's rented, end up with a $2500 bill at the end of the month.

On the inevitable approach of the alien CEO:

bob
sigh, now the third-party ceos parade out to see how jobs' cock tastes
bob
BATHROOM BREAK

On privateering:

bob
only pirates want to own optical media readers
wabewalkr
I thought they want to own optical media writers?

On website stability, and more baseball thoughts:

wabewalkr
Engadget can't stop using the word "excited."
bob
oh yeah baby
wabewalkr
They got too excited... "Please refresh this page in a few minutes."

On the MacBook Air:

wabewalkr
OK, and so...
wabewalkr
Same screen dimensions as the regular MacBook...
Kyol
Yeah, it's an aluminum macbook, just real thin.
Kyol
whoop-tee-doo
bob
not a touchscreen, just a big touchpad
wabewalkr
"How did we fit it all in there? Answer: we didn't. It's really a dumb terminal that connects to your Mac at home. So you have to buy two!"
bob
"Your choice of green or amber!"
Kyol
Huh, it's actually not horribly specced, either.
Kyol
"Because this fucker is going to break. A lot.
wabewalkr
Fits in an envelope, for easy shipping!
wabewalkr
"Do not fold, spindle or mutilate."
bob
it won't be safe to just carry a manila envelope on the street anymore
wabewalkr
On the other hand, the MacBook Air doubles as a large shuriken. Hack up bad guys with ease and style.
bob
and a ramp so you can do stunts with your sweet hot wheels collection!

On the loss of legacy copper:

wabewalkr
No FireWire. Dealbreaker.
bob
apple's trying to kill firewire i think
wabewalkr
Yeah, I suspect so.
Kyol
I wonder if they've figure out how to do the whole mac transfer thing over usb somehow.
bob
which sucks what with it being fast and reliable unlike usb
Kyol
That shit is THE number onf reason I'll slobber apple knob as long as I live.
wabewalkr
Actually, I think they'll kill USB next.
wabewalkr
Steve spurts for wireless.
wabewalkr
There's your answer, Kyol: MBA uses WiFi for transfer.
wabewalkr
No Firewire, no USB.
bob
yeah it has usb
wabewalkr
No, I meant no USB transfer.
bob
sure! copy stuff from one mac onto your usb drive, then bring it over to the air
wabewalkr
Sneakernet 2.0

On Remote Disk:

bob
ooooh, you can see what CDs and DVDs people have mounted around you
Kyol
porn porn porn porn office 2007 porn

On beautiful things that you heathens refuse to buy:

wabewalkr
I'm calling "Cube" right now. Who's with me?
wabewalkr
Beautiful, droolworthy, but ultimately a sales flop.
bob
maybe
Kyol
eh, the laptop market is actually viable, though.
bob
maybe they learned from their mistakes and next macbook air is good, though
wabewalkr
Can't see it... what does it bring to the table that the current MB and MBP don't?
Kyol
x-treme portability for the mini PC crowd.
Kyol
only $1800!
Kyol
versus the $350 eee hrm
wabewalkr
Still, it doesn't "fit" into the lineup, unless they're going to introduce the iMac Air as "one more thing."

On greener Apples:

Kyol
Oh it's a GREEN laptop I see
bob
Environmental highlights: fully aluminum case (good for recycling), first fully mercury and lead free display, circuit boards are BFR free, retail packaging are 56% less volume than MacBook.
wabewalkr
That's because it's shipped in a manila envelope.
wabewalkr
And Gladys from accounting hand-writes the address label, because she took caligraphy at night school.
wabewalkr
"Next, the gMac, as in 'green.' The case is 100% cornstarch."

The final analysis:

Kyol
they're doing highlights of 2008 SO FAR I dunno steve
bob
is it time for... one more thing?
wabewalkr
Yep, boners on standby.
bob
shit, i got excited for a second when i saw "steve jobs retaking stage" on macrumorslive, then it turned out the refresh munged the scroll
bob
nope, not if the music's starting
Kyol
RANDY NEWMAN
Kyol
short people.. doot dootle dee doot
bob
maybe they'll announce manila envelope 2.0 that randy newman can fit into
wabewalkr
Thin people... got no one to love.
wabewalkr
I give this keynote a 4. Nice beat, but you couldn't dance to it.
bob
heh, ilounge: "10:36 Continued political/economic diatribe, how media is focusing on the companies but not the poeple who are being hurt."
bob
ars technica isn't where i expect to see "rofl"
wabewalkr
They just reported on "Tight ass"
wabewalkr
Oh well, might as well ooze off to work.

Dec. 21st, 2007

swat kats, autobot, optimus prime, transformer, cartoon, angry, rob, bitter, animation, condensed comics

It's official: PHP causes brain damage

My friend Brandon had to debug some code, and it contained some horrible atrocities. He eventually tracked the source of the stupidity to the manual page for the PHP function abs.

Do we need to have some mandatory licensing in place before one is allowed to code? It seems that stupidity isn't limited to commenters on PHP manual pages: Pownce is full of it.

Dec. 14th, 2007

swat kats, autobot, optimus prime, transformer, cartoon, angry, rob, bitter, animation, condensed comics

F--kin’ A!

Judge dismisses “potty-mouth” case

Tags: ,
swat kats, autobot, optimus prime, transformer, cartoon, angry, rob, bitter, animation, condensed comics

So Incredibly Sad...

Attention People of the Internet: if I ever make pathetic statements like those uttered by the moguls in this article, you have my pre-authorization to whop me on the back of my head, preferably with a baseball bat:

They're Single, Ambitious, Worth Millions, But Can New York Women Download Their Megabyte Egos?

Previous 20