Wabewalker

location: 2821 Mission College Blvd, Santa Clara, CA

mood: crying

While doing maintenance, I found the following atrocity:

inline void fast_strncpy(char *dest, const char *src, int nbytes) {
  if (nbytes <= 10) {
    switch (nbytes) {
      case 1:
        dest[0] = '\0';
        break;
      case 2:
        dest[0] = src[0];
        dest[1] = '\0';
        break;
      case 3:
        dest[0] = src[0];
        dest[1] = src[1];
        dest[2] = '\0';
        break;
      case 4:
        dest[0] = src[0];
        dest[1] = src[1];
        dest[2] = src[2];
        dest[3] = '\0';
        break;
        // AND SO ON FOR AN OBSCENE NUMBER OF CASES...
  }
  else {
    memcpy(dest, src, nbytes - 1);
    dest[nbytes] = '\0'; // WHAT’S WRONG HERE, KIDS?
  }
}

“Why does our performance suck compared to the competitors?”

Because maybe, just maybe, your engineers can’t program worth crap?

location: 2821 Mission College Blvd, Santa Clara, CA

mood: aggravated

ret•req |'ret ,rek| noun a bizarre behavior from software explained post facto by editing the wiki holding the requirements document once said behavior is discovered.

Origin early 21st cent.: blend of retroactive and requirement.

See Also CYA